Wake up

I just spent four days training with a group of people that for the most part, are going to be good to work for but more importantly, work with. I've never met most of them and none of the ones that I do know will be working with me. The good thing is that most of the people involved with what we will be doing have been doing it for some time. I apologize for being vague but it is what it is. (I'll fill you in later.)
I was only away from my family and friends for four days but it's true, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Monica told me that every day, throughout the day, Bella would wander around the house looking for me. The nights were harder for her. She is used to having me there and say our evening prayer together. On the nights that she ends up in bed with us she presses herself as close as she can to be. That's the only way that she will fall asleep. She does not understand that there are times when I have so much on my mind that having her doze off next to me helps me to put things in perspective. I know that this deployment is going to be very difficult for Bella and Monica. My boys, Sergio and Marcelo, my young men will struggle but they have gone through this with me before and they are both very level headed. Marcelo is at a stage in his life where he is going through changes. He is having his difficulties with it but Sergio has stepped in and is helping him through it. I've overheard him giving Celo advice and his words, the way that he expresses himself to his little brother, has left me feeling incredibly humbled and fortunate. I know that they will be able to look out for each other, and at the same time be able to help Monica and Bella.
There are times that being in the reserves and staying committed to serving makes me believe that I am being selfish. What does my family get out of me being away, training or overseas and at times, in harms way? Why do I continue to make them go through this with me? I know that I could not do this without the support that they give me month in and month out but these feelings of guilt are probably what I find harder to deal with, especially when I away from home and away from them.