That time again...

So here I am once more, going through the mobilization process, and hopefully for the last time. The hardest part of this process is NOT the endless running around only to have hurry up and wait, for one reason or another. The most difficult part of the process is having to be away from my kid, Monica, my family and friends. It is during the down times or gray areas as these guys call it, that I struggle the most. I have a hotel room to myself and it is during the times that I am alone in my room that I question each and every reason why I enlisted in the Navy and then chose to continue serving in the reserves. I do not question my commitment to this country and to the men and women that I serve with but I question myself only because being away from them makes this so very difficult. We’ve been put through many different training evolutions, lectures, processing, etc. but, and I hate to admit it, more often than not I find that I am simply going through the motions. I am still getting my quals in but I hate feeling like I am not giving 100 percent. I just hope that the people in my life understand how important they are to me. I would not be able to do what I do without them ‘having my six’.


It is now the night before our ‘lock down’ day. Everyone is doing their own thing, grilling, chilling, drinking etc. but in a couple of hours this place will become a ghost town as people will isolate themselves and make the last minute phone calls, or just get caught up in the internal ‘what if’ conversations. My thoughts will inevitably focus on my family. I just want and need them to understand that they are my well of strength. Yes, I put myself through some grueling workouts but they gave me that extra bit of strength that at times, I could not find on my own. Tomorrow, we will begin the final phase before going ‘wheels up’. It is going to be a long day, filled with too much second guessing and down time. I just want to get through it, get on that bird and get this thing going. Let me do my job, get the days to start meaning something and get me back to the ones that I love.

Simple. (but too much to ask for.)