25
If you’re lucky, in your lifetime you will be able to surround yourself with friends that will not only help you stay on the straight on narrow but will call you out when you start making too many excuses. If you’re real lucky you’ll come across a man like Don DeMola that will do this and so much more.
After having my college scholarship taken from me, actually, I gave it away; I came back to El Paso not sure about my next step. Continue with college here in town or take a break? I decided on the easiest path of the two. I started working. I went from job to job, doing whatever I could to put some money in my pocket. I worked as a bouncer, washing cars from a rental company and as a uniformed guard from a small security company.
It was early in the morning, about 6 a.m., I was about to wrap up a ten hour shift of ‘guarding’ a mall window to a fur and leather store when dispatch called to inform me that my relief was not going to make it in that morning. I decided to take that shift as well. A few hours later, I see a guy, tall, dark slicked back hair, shirt buttoned a little more than halfway up, chains dangling around his neck, sunglasses, cup in hand, walking, no, strutting, across the parking lot and past me, into the main entrance of the mall. (Who the hell does this guy think he is?!) He opens the security door to the store that I am guarding and he looks at the window and motions for me to go inside. (Who the hell does this guy think he is? I don’t work for him!) Next thing I know, I’m translating for this guy. Helping him make sales! WTF?! So this goes on for the rest of the day. My relief shows up and as I am walking out the door he calls me over. “Thanks for your help.” He reaches out and hands me $40 or $50 bucks. “Get out of here.”
A couple of days followed somehow my schedule changed and I found myself working more day time shifts and yes, helping him with his sales. Aside from me translating for him, we never talked much. But one day he asked me how much I made a week. I told him. “I’ll pay you double plus commission.” Sure. “Do you own a shirt and tie. A coat?” Nod. “See you here tomorrow.” This is how I met Don DeMola.
For the most part, the items in the store sold themselves. Things were going well, at least I thought so but Don is not one to hold back, with anything. “If a woman is interested in a leather jacket, throw a fox jacket on her. If she wants a fox jacket, throw a mink on her. Simple.” Of course every other word was an ‘F’ bomb. He then would stroll out to the middle of the mall, pull out a Winston, light up and check out the ladies. People would have to walk around him. I’m sure that they were wondering, like me,” Who the hell does this guy think he is?!” Except they were thinking it in Spanish.
This went on for a couple of weeks, and then months. My sales, thanks to his constant badgering, improved. I was making good money and more importantly, having fun doing it. During this time I found out more about Don. Italian, from New York. “You ever been there.” No. “Travel much?” I’ve been to California. “California? Nothing but homos out there.” I’m from California “Fogehdaboudit!” and he’d walk away.
During a slow day, Don grabbed a mush ball and told me to squat down into a catchers stance. I did so, and he walks about 70 – 80 feet away from me. “You catch this, I’ll give you $25." I was a tight end in high school and college. I have good hands. I’m thinking. “Easy money!” He let it go and the ball danced through the air and it hit me in the palm of my hand and fell to the ground. WTF?! “Double or nothing?”, he says. He backed up and let it fly again. Same thing. “How’d you do that? Show me how you did that.” “Fogehdaboudit!” and he walked out to the middle of the mall, pulled out a Winston, and lit up. Meanwhile, Bob Reimer, the owner, just sat their laughing. “Bob, how did he do that?” “He hasn’t told you? He played major league ball with the Expos.”
"WTF??!!!!!"I’m thinking to myself, "This is freaking cool." I tried getting more information out of Don, but he never talked much about it.
A couple more months passed by and the sales season was wrapping up. Bob told us that he would be closing up shop and Don would be heading back to New York. To say the least, I was bummed out. Here are two guys that took a chance with a young kid, helped build up his self esteem and confidence and now they were leaving? Fuck. I still had my part time job, washing cars. I still hadn’t decided if I’d go back to school. I just went back to doing what I was doing before I met them. It was late one night, I was at the lot, working. I looked across the way and noticed that a van had pulled up. It was Don. I waited a few minutes, he flashed the high beams and I went over to him. “What’s up, Don?” “Is this what you want to do for the rest of your life? Wash fucking cars? Come with me.” I looked back at the lot, the office and really, my life, right then and there. “Screw this.” I have to add that this was a huge step for me. My Dad had met Don and really, did not care for him. So convincing my parents to let me go on the road with "that guy" was not an easy thing to do.
Two days later I flew to Phoenix for a fashion show and three days after that we hit the road. Our first leg took us from Phoenix a quick stop in El Paso, to San Antonio and then Atlanta. Just like that, in a span of ten days or so, I went from ‘just getting’ by to seeing places that I had only read about in magazines or had seen on TV. This was only the beginning. We covered Georgia, Mississippi, Florida, Arkansas, Tennessee, Iowa, Illinois, Pennsylvania, New York and on and on. All of this in a little over four months! As great as seeing all of these places, meeting so many great people, it was the impression that Don made on me that helped me enjoy this period of my life that much more.
Before all of this happened, I had tunnel vision. I only saw what was in front of me and that included not really wanting to know what was on the other side of the mountain range and vast desert that surrounds El Paso. More to the point, I found that making new friends took too much effort so why bother? Because of Don, that changed. Before getting to the next town or state, he would call ahead and I would overhear the conversation. He’d hang up, “We have a place to stay.” Or “We’ve been invited for dinner.” We’d show up and be treated like family. We’d leave town and I would often ask Don, “When is the last time that you saw (so and so)? Thinking that he must have last seen these folks years ago. “A few months ago.” Amazing. We’d show up in places and he’d introduce me to people that he had not seen in 5, 10, 15 years and still they would treat us, me, like family. Wow. This happened ALL OF THE TIME everywhere that we visited. It blew me away. It still does.
I don’t know if Don knows this but from him I learned the importance of fostering relationships, friendships. And even if you don’t come out and say how you feel about someone, show them.
After spending the spring traveling with Don, and after meeting his family in Long Island, Deb, Dee Dee, Tony, Wayne and Olaf , I flew home feeling different and in some ways out of place. I was excited but I missed being on the road, seeing this great country and of course I missed my friend.
I spent the next few weeks going over the miles in my mind, reevaluating my life. When Don called asking me to meet him in Ruidoso, NM. I jumped on it. We hung out for a couple of days and we hit the road again. Althought this trip was much shorter, it was still great, but again, I came home feeling empty.
After a night of partying, I lay in bed, thinking about my life and I decided right then that I wanted to keep traveling but I wanted to say “thank you” to this great country that because of Don, I had gotten to know. I got of bed, got dressed and headed to the Navy recruiter. About an hour later, after having signed up, I went home. I did not tell my parents, my family but I did tell Don. At boot camp in San Diego, I remember seeing an American flag and I thought back on the flags that I saw on small farms in Iowa, along dirt roads in Louisiana, painted on roof tops of ranch houses in Texas and at the top of the Empire State building.
It has now been just under 17 years since I enlisted, I went into it knowing that it would be difficult. I have gone through two West Pacs and one deployment to Iraq. Through it all, I have had my parents, my wife Monica and Don. Yes, I have had, and have, many friends that I have had to lean on from time to time but no one like Don.
Don, I owe so much of who I am to you and really words would not do you or our friendship any justice. Just know that the life lessons that I learned from you, making eye contact, carrying yourself with confidence, being honest, even when it hurts, I am now passing on to my children.
I love you, Don. Thanks for everything.
After having my college scholarship taken from me, actually, I gave it away; I came back to El Paso not sure about my next step. Continue with college here in town or take a break? I decided on the easiest path of the two. I started working. I went from job to job, doing whatever I could to put some money in my pocket. I worked as a bouncer, washing cars from a rental company and as a uniformed guard from a small security company.
It was early in the morning, about 6 a.m., I was about to wrap up a ten hour shift of ‘guarding’ a mall window to a fur and leather store when dispatch called to inform me that my relief was not going to make it in that morning. I decided to take that shift as well. A few hours later, I see a guy, tall, dark slicked back hair, shirt buttoned a little more than halfway up, chains dangling around his neck, sunglasses, cup in hand, walking, no, strutting, across the parking lot and past me, into the main entrance of the mall. (Who the hell does this guy think he is?!) He opens the security door to the store that I am guarding and he looks at the window and motions for me to go inside. (Who the hell does this guy think he is? I don’t work for him!) Next thing I know, I’m translating for this guy. Helping him make sales! WTF?! So this goes on for the rest of the day. My relief shows up and as I am walking out the door he calls me over. “Thanks for your help.” He reaches out and hands me $40 or $50 bucks. “Get out of here.”
A couple of days followed somehow my schedule changed and I found myself working more day time shifts and yes, helping him with his sales. Aside from me translating for him, we never talked much. But one day he asked me how much I made a week. I told him. “I’ll pay you double plus commission.” Sure. “Do you own a shirt and tie. A coat?” Nod. “See you here tomorrow.” This is how I met Don DeMola.
For the most part, the items in the store sold themselves. Things were going well, at least I thought so but Don is not one to hold back, with anything. “If a woman is interested in a leather jacket, throw a fox jacket on her. If she wants a fox jacket, throw a mink on her. Simple.” Of course every other word was an ‘F’ bomb. He then would stroll out to the middle of the mall, pull out a Winston, light up and check out the ladies. People would have to walk around him. I’m sure that they were wondering, like me,” Who the hell does this guy think he is?!” Except they were thinking it in Spanish.
This went on for a couple of weeks, and then months. My sales, thanks to his constant badgering, improved. I was making good money and more importantly, having fun doing it. During this time I found out more about Don. Italian, from New York. “You ever been there.” No. “Travel much?” I’ve been to California. “California? Nothing but homos out there.” I’m from California “Fogehdaboudit!” and he’d walk away.
During a slow day, Don grabbed a mush ball and told me to squat down into a catchers stance. I did so, and he walks about 70 – 80 feet away from me. “You catch this, I’ll give you $25." I was a tight end in high school and college. I have good hands. I’m thinking. “Easy money!” He let it go and the ball danced through the air and it hit me in the palm of my hand and fell to the ground. WTF?! “Double or nothing?”, he says. He backed up and let it fly again. Same thing. “How’d you do that? Show me how you did that.” “Fogehdaboudit!” and he walked out to the middle of the mall, pulled out a Winston, and lit up. Meanwhile, Bob Reimer, the owner, just sat their laughing. “Bob, how did he do that?” “He hasn’t told you? He played major league ball with the Expos.”
"WTF??!!!!!"I’m thinking to myself, "This is freaking cool." I tried getting more information out of Don, but he never talked much about it.
A couple more months passed by and the sales season was wrapping up. Bob told us that he would be closing up shop and Don would be heading back to New York. To say the least, I was bummed out. Here are two guys that took a chance with a young kid, helped build up his self esteem and confidence and now they were leaving? Fuck. I still had my part time job, washing cars. I still hadn’t decided if I’d go back to school. I just went back to doing what I was doing before I met them. It was late one night, I was at the lot, working. I looked across the way and noticed that a van had pulled up. It was Don. I waited a few minutes, he flashed the high beams and I went over to him. “What’s up, Don?” “Is this what you want to do for the rest of your life? Wash fucking cars? Come with me.” I looked back at the lot, the office and really, my life, right then and there. “Screw this.” I have to add that this was a huge step for me. My Dad had met Don and really, did not care for him. So convincing my parents to let me go on the road with "that guy" was not an easy thing to do.
Two days later I flew to Phoenix for a fashion show and three days after that we hit the road. Our first leg took us from Phoenix a quick stop in El Paso, to San Antonio and then Atlanta. Just like that, in a span of ten days or so, I went from ‘just getting’ by to seeing places that I had only read about in magazines or had seen on TV. This was only the beginning. We covered Georgia, Mississippi, Florida, Arkansas, Tennessee, Iowa, Illinois, Pennsylvania, New York and on and on. All of this in a little over four months! As great as seeing all of these places, meeting so many great people, it was the impression that Don made on me that helped me enjoy this period of my life that much more.
Before all of this happened, I had tunnel vision. I only saw what was in front of me and that included not really wanting to know what was on the other side of the mountain range and vast desert that surrounds El Paso. More to the point, I found that making new friends took too much effort so why bother? Because of Don, that changed. Before getting to the next town or state, he would call ahead and I would overhear the conversation. He’d hang up, “We have a place to stay.” Or “We’ve been invited for dinner.” We’d show up and be treated like family. We’d leave town and I would often ask Don, “When is the last time that you saw (so and so)? Thinking that he must have last seen these folks years ago. “A few months ago.” Amazing. We’d show up in places and he’d introduce me to people that he had not seen in 5, 10, 15 years and still they would treat us, me, like family. Wow. This happened ALL OF THE TIME everywhere that we visited. It blew me away. It still does.
I don’t know if Don knows this but from him I learned the importance of fostering relationships, friendships. And even if you don’t come out and say how you feel about someone, show them.
After spending the spring traveling with Don, and after meeting his family in Long Island, Deb, Dee Dee, Tony, Wayne and Olaf , I flew home feeling different and in some ways out of place. I was excited but I missed being on the road, seeing this great country and of course I missed my friend.
I spent the next few weeks going over the miles in my mind, reevaluating my life. When Don called asking me to meet him in Ruidoso, NM. I jumped on it. We hung out for a couple of days and we hit the road again. Althought this trip was much shorter, it was still great, but again, I came home feeling empty.
After a night of partying, I lay in bed, thinking about my life and I decided right then that I wanted to keep traveling but I wanted to say “thank you” to this great country that because of Don, I had gotten to know. I got of bed, got dressed and headed to the Navy recruiter. About an hour later, after having signed up, I went home. I did not tell my parents, my family but I did tell Don. At boot camp in San Diego, I remember seeing an American flag and I thought back on the flags that I saw on small farms in Iowa, along dirt roads in Louisiana, painted on roof tops of ranch houses in Texas and at the top of the Empire State building.
It has now been just under 17 years since I enlisted, I went into it knowing that it would be difficult. I have gone through two West Pacs and one deployment to Iraq. Through it all, I have had my parents, my wife Monica and Don. Yes, I have had, and have, many friends that I have had to lean on from time to time but no one like Don.
Don, I owe so much of who I am to you and really words would not do you or our friendship any justice. Just know that the life lessons that I learned from you, making eye contact, carrying yourself with confidence, being honest, even when it hurts, I am now passing on to my children.
I love you, Don. Thanks for everything.
posted by szamora at 9:53 AM
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